November 9, 2014

I was in my dream travel destination, and I wanted to cry.

For our second day in Tokyo we went to Meiji Shrine, Harajuku, and Shibuya.

Since we were going to Harajuku—a known fashion hub—we took more care than usual in dressing ourselves. I love dressing up so I was psyched. But once we arrived in Meiji Shrine, my excitement gradually waned. The guys walked ahead together, and I was left behind. I already expected this to happen, but it didn’t make me any less sad.

People watching during the walk to the shrine distracted me for a short while. I thought it would be cold because of the trees, but they actually shielded us from the wind so it was slightly warmer.

The walk to Meiji Shrine
The walk to Meiji Shrine

We chanced upon a traditional wedding. We didn’t write wishes on those wooden things anymore because we found it pricey. We just used our money on food instead.

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There wasn’t a lot of food choices within the shrine’s complex. We ate staple temple food again, this time yakisoba with okonomiyaki.

Oba-chan preparing okonomiyaki
Oba-chan preparing okonomiyaki

We mistakenly took the long way around Meiji Shrine to get to Takeshita-dori. Maybe I was just tired, but during this long walk, with me trailing behind a good thirty paces, I really felt alone.

I decided to rid myself of the guys once we arrived at Harajuku because I didn’t want them waiting for me and unintentionally pressuring me while I look in different shops. So I took a pocket wi-fi for myself and set off on my own.

Takeshita-dori
Takeshita-dori

Most of the wares sold in Harajuku are too kawaii for my taste so all I managed to buy was a printed button-down shirt and earrings. 

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One of the shops on Takeshita-dori

I met with the guys at the end of the busy street, and we walked to Omotesando.

There were so many people in Omotesando. And because it’s situated on a hill, you could see the people, which seemed like thousands, walking miles ahead.

Allan, Ruther, and Butch went in the huge Apple store. I stayed outside and sat on a bench to rest my, by now, dead feet. Wearing boots, no matter how comfy, for two straight days of non-stop walking was indeed a sacrifice for beauty.

Saw these cuties while I was sitting in front of the Apple Store in Omotosendo
Saw these cuties while I was sitting in front of the Apple Store in Omotesando

We then looked for an obscure coffee shop called Omotesando Coffee. Allan, probably sensing something’s wrong, treated me to a cup. I don’t drink coffee so I didn’t really appreciate whatever subtle flavors Omotesando Coffee had to offer.

At Omotesando Coffee
At Omotesando Coffee

Even though we were already hungry, we decided we would travel a few minutes more to eat dinner in Shibuya instead of Omotesando.

I lost all remaining happiness at Hachiko’s statue.

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Once we arrived at the statue, I needed to pee. The nearest restroom I could find was in a mall across the street from the statue. It took me about twenty minutes to get back. Naturally, they already took photos with Hachiko. For me, that was the last straw. When Allan asked if I also wanted to take a photo with the dog, I refused. I felt that if I uttered more than one sentence, I would’ve burst into tears, let alone be able to smile for a picture.

I sound like a whiny fuck because I was in Japan and I should’ve been enjoying myself, but I wasn’t. And the fact that I wasn’t enjoying myself made me that much sadder.

When I crossed the famous Shibuya crossing, I felt like I could disappear in the sea of people, and no one would care.

Is this filter emo enough to express my feelings?
Is this filter emo enough to express my feelings?

Still very much hungry, we walked around Shibuya a few minutes more until the guys finally agreed on a place to eat dinner. Allan’s dish was good. I was happy with my burger steak set, too. It went well with one of the dressings. I don’t know why I kept ordering meal sets with shrimp furai when all the previous ones I had ordered had been disappointing.

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Because I couldn’t handle the cold anymore, I went to the Forever 21 building nearby (alone, of course) and bought a sweater.

If the guys noticed my sour mood, they didn’t let it on. I honestly don’t even know if I wanted them to acknowledge my feelings anyway. I just wanted to belong, but I also didn’t want to force it.

But I don’t feel that anymore. At least not as intensely as earlier when I felt like crying. I just have to come to terms with not being part of the group. I’ll be fine if I just do my own thing.

I actually prefer to be alone tomorrow for shopping day, but Butch says he wants to join me.

Hopefully my next Japan trip will be more fun than this.

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