Date a Girl Who Writes

You should date a girl who writes. Date a girl who writes because she most probably also reads. And you know what they say about a girl who reads: So many things! Here’s an excerpt:

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Date a girl who writes because there’s a good chance that she also travels. And you know what they say about girls who travel: Again, so many things. A girl who travels is supposedly not boring, spontaneous, up for trying new things, and independent (read: not clingy). In short, girls who travel are being marketed, or marketing themselves, as potential romantic partners whom men will find easy to deal with.

Yes, a girl who writes will also travel a lot because she needs to expose herself to new people, places and ideas. She needs to learn about the world in order to write about it. And traveling gives her a fresh perspective.

But unlike a girl who travels, a girl who writes won’t be easy to deal with. Even though she’s a traveler, she does not tolerate people who use “cultural differences” as an excuse to be assholes. She has a lot of opinions about a lot of things and is not afraid of making them known. And she will pester you on your principles and how you view the world.

A girl who writes enjoys sex. She also expects you to know what hasty generalization means.

Find a girl who writes. You’ll know that she does because she’ll be writing, blogging, and posting regularly. She’s the girl who will suddenly grab a notebook or her phone to write a phrase or idea down for future reference. She’s never fully in the moment because once something interesting happens, she’s already thinking of how to best describe the event on her journal. Her pens are constantly running out of ink so she always has two of them handy in case one fails.

Buy her preferred pen.

Talk to her about your life, your fears, your dreams. She will be interested in them because she’s genuinely curious about people and their motivations. She will chronicle your love story from its inception, its highs and lows, and, if it doesn’t work out, its death. You will find yourself in the characters she is writing. Something you said or did will be immortalized in prose or poem.

You will never be bored with a girl who writes because she lives a colorful life. It doesn’t mean that she goes on an adventure every day. She doesn’t have to. Exploration of humanity is an adventure in itself. She always has stories to tell whether it’s from a movie she saw, a book she read or a conversation she overheard. She is observant not only of her environment but also of herself. She is constantly questioning her life and ideals and asks things like “Why do a lot of people post stuff like ‘Date a girl who (insert hobby here)?’ Is it that hard to find a date these days?” In short, she is nosy as fuck.

She is always contemplating her relationships and that includes her romantic relationship so you better step it up, son.

A girl who writes won’t nag you. Instead she will write with rage about your fight and what an idiot you are in red ink. But a girl who writes is used to looking at both sides of the story because it’s essential for character development. So contrary to what some people say about women to make them seem like irrational beings, a girl who writes doesn’t believe that she is always right.

If you find a girl who writes, don’t lose her. But don’t hover and disturb her when she’s writing either. She will want to write away from you and everyone else from time to time. Leave her be. She will come back to you as soon as she’s done because she might need help editing her work. Be honest when she asks you what you think of her writing.

Date a girl who writes but always remember that the things people do, no matter how interesting or “cool” those things are, do not equate to them having a personality or, more importantly, being a good person. We are nuanced beings and just because someone writes (or reads or travels or runs or climbs mountains or takes photos), it doesn’t mean you can put them in a box and expect them to behave a certain way. Date someone you like and support them in whatever endeavors they pursue. Make sure that the other person will support you, too.

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Last Year’s Resolutions

I have no qualms about sharing my thoughts to complete strangers on the Internet—that’s why I have a public Twitter account. And If you look at my timeline, there’s a lot of profanity, subversive opinions, subtweets, failed attempts at being funny, comments on movies, a smattering of shutdowns, and the usual boring shit like what I’m doing or where I’m at.

What you won’t find in my timeline, however, are New Year’s resolutions. It’s not that I don’t have any, but I just don’t want to unwittingly jinx my plans.

I envy people who post Facebook statuses about how they’ve already booked a flight to Thailand, or those who share their plans on how to get fitter and sexier this year. Maybe it’s the pessimist in me, but I want to keep my plans to myself until I am sure that they will happen. The more I feel uncertain about  reaching a goal, the more secretive I get. This is why I’m not in marketing.

So when I decided that 2013 was going to be a year of learning new things, I didn’t  announce any of my plans on Facebook or Twitter. I just set goals for myself—write every day, learn a new language, play a musical instrument, take scuba diving lessons, read a new book every two weeks, and update this blog every week.

First entry and I was talking to the notebook. I would like to think I have made progress since.

I didn’t get to do all of those things, except for enrolling in French classes and writing daily—the latter one I even cheated in. At times I would find myself writing two or three entries in a row after skipping a day or two of writing. But by the end of March, I grew more confident that I could follow a daily writing routine for the rest of the year. That was when I started telling my friends about it without the fear of a jinx.

While some journals are meant to be kept secret, I wrote mine, thinking that someone might read it someday. Thus I was initially compelled to censor myself, but eventually scrapped the notion. I did try to avoid writing about myself as much as possible though, because that would be so boring. Instead, I wrote travel notes and reviewed movies and TV shows. I put down my thoughts on divisive topics people talked about, and crafted future literary masterpieces, like the one I did on the art of pooping.

And when I did write something about myself, it was more on how I was feeling at a particular time. I  reflected on why I felt that way and tried to learn from it, instead of just narrating how shit went down.

Groundbreaking stuff

I learned that my grammar sucks, and that when you’re out of ideas, even the most trivial things could be interesting. I learned how powerful words are and how good sentence construction helps in getting ideas across. I learned that my writing is far from good. But more than anything, I realized how much I love writing.

I read a quote somewhere that goes something like, “What you do instead of your actual work is your job.” There’s  another one that says, “The first thing that you do in the morning is the thing that you love the most.” And for me that’s writing. The fact that I spent my last day of vacation writing about writing is testament to that.

I feel that the age of 25 is a little  late to discover what you really love to do. But I take inspiration in the successes of such writers as Bram Stoker, José Saramago and Mark Twain, who all started their writing careers later in life. Actually, I’m a step ahead of Saramago because his writing routine involved writing only two pages every day; I write 3. HA! (But quality over quantity, I know.)

My friend asked me what I plan to do in the future, and I couldn’t give an answer for fear that he might scoff at me if I told him that “I want to write.” And I’m sure some of you are scoffing right now because I’m being ridiculous.

Realizing that I want to be a writer also meant realizing how infinitely scary it is to admit it. It’s as if you’re exposing the most vulnerable part of yourself. I am scared of people mocking me and belittling my dreams of becoming a writer. But I really should stop worrying because no one really cares. And I should use that to my advantage and improve on writing while no one’s looking.

I still don’t know what to do to become an actual writer. What does an “actual writer” even mean? I know I should read more. I want to keep on blogging. Maybe this year we’ll probably meet that one-blog-post-a-week goal?

I want to write for popular websites like Rookie, Hello Giggles or Rappler. I want to write like Rookie editor and American teenage goddess Tavi Gevinson, or my movie soul sister Anne T. Donahue. I want to write with wit and humor like Joyce Wadler. I want to write fiction. I want to have a book of essays like Jessica Zafra.

I’m not afraid of sharing these with you because these are all dreams, not plans.

And jinxes don’t work on dreams.