J.J. 1988

Ten Ways Happy People Stay Happy. What Successful People Do Differently. How To Turn Your Passion into a Career. Signs That You’re Having a Quarter-life Crisis. Seeking a Meaningful Life.

My Facebook timeline is rife with these kinds of posts and they’re mostly shared by my peers. I have an idea why.

I just turned the magical age of twenty-seven a few days ago. According to my mother, I’m already old.

But I don’t feel like it. In my head I’m still just a kid pretending to be an adult who has her shit together, like Jennifer Garner’s character Jenna Rink in 13 Going on 30.

I can’t deny though that a small bubble of panicky thoughts has surfaced upon reaching this age. I have less than three years to be, as Jenna put it, “thirty, flirty and thriving.” People’s tolerance of me making stupid life choices is at its lowest because I should’ve honed my decision-making skills by now. And it doesn’t help that a slew of inspirational ladies like Taylor Swift, Tavi Gevinson and Malala Yousafzai have already achieved so much at a younger age.

I was chatting with my friend (C.J. 1988) recently and he said that he feels like he hasn’t achieved anything or lived his life to the fullest. He doesn’t find fulfillment in his work and hobbies. He thinks he wasted his youth being complacent and now it’s too late to start over.

I get where he’s coming from because I also misspent my time as a teenager. My life merely ping-ponged between our house and school during college. I didn’t explore what the world had to offer or expose myself to more people. I was too scared to fail that I didn’t even try. If I did, then maybe I could’ve found out at an earlier age that writing is my thing. And maybe I could’ve done something about it like changing my course in college or joining a creative writing club.

But even if I were that young again, I still probably wouldn’t have pursued writing because my insecurities—my self-perceived lack of talent—would’ve prevented me from doing so. Not that my pursuing writing now means I’ve changed my opinion of myself. I just care more about the actual writing process and less about my lack of talent for writing.

My conversation with C.J. reminded me of this passage in Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar because it perfectly illustrates what deciding to do with your life feels like:

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

My friend’s concerns and this quote comfort me because it confirms that I’m not the only person who feels confused and helpless sometimes. I feel vindicated and grateful whenever someone shares articles on how to be successful because then I’m not the only one who isn’t. In the same vein, it throws me off when one of my peers achieves a milestone. When this happens I remind myself that “I have no desire for anyone else’s throne” and to “never compare your insides to everyone else’s outsides.” (Thank you for your wisdom, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter and Anne Lamott.)

I haven’t achieved the usual success indicators like getting a promotion, finishing a post-graduate degree or getting married but I’m doing my own thing to achieve what I want for myself: to be a writer. I read constantly to learn what good writing sounds like. I heed the advice of writers I respect, notably those who were published later in life. I have more than two years’ worth of journal entries and it’s been a useful tool for putting thoughts on a page. I blog to discover my writing voice and to practice for when I actually get paid to write. My posts are not New York Times-worthy but I edit them as if they were.

It’s sometimes difficult to muster the energy to continue doing these things when I think about how pathetic I appear to some people and with my efforts failing to take me closer to my goal. Whenever I’m second-guessing myself and nursing my insecurities, I look at my life in terms of The Grand Scheme of Things.

I’m just a speck of dust in this universe. And the fact that I exist at all is a thing of wonder. However, I will still die. The people who will remember me will die. Our sun will die and our home will die with it. In short, someday, all my efforts will be in vain. It’s a depressing thought. But it’s a thought that frees me from worrying about my “unsuccessful” life. The thought of death and insignificance allows me to say “Life is short. Do what you want. And don’t hurt anybody in the process.”

I know that’s easier said than done especially if you have more pressing problems other than self-actualization. Feel free to discard my advice. The real reason I wrote this anyway is for the same reason we read those articles about happiness and success in the first place: for hope and solace. I am alone in writing this and my feelings are my own, but I know I’m not alone in experiencing them. And my hope is for someone to read this, understand what I wrote, and find solace in my words.

Date a Girl Who Writes

You should date a girl who writes. Date a girl who writes because she most probably also reads. And you know what they say about a girl who reads: So many things! Here’s an excerpt:

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Date a girl who writes because there’s a good chance that she also travels. And you know what they say about girls who travel: Again, so many things. A girl who travels is supposedly not boring, spontaneous, up for trying new things, and independent (read: not clingy). In short, girls who travel are being marketed, or marketing themselves, as potential romantic partners whom men will find easy to deal with.

Yes, a girl who writes will also travel a lot because she needs to expose herself to new people, places and ideas. She needs to learn about the world in order to write about it. And traveling gives her a fresh perspective.

But unlike a girl who travels, a girl who writes won’t be easy to deal with. Even though she’s a traveler, she does not tolerate people who use “cultural differences” as an excuse to be assholes. She has a lot of opinions about a lot of things and is not afraid of making them known. And she will pester you on your principles and how you view the world.

A girl who writes enjoys sex. She also expects you to know what hasty generalization means.

Find a girl who writes. You’ll know that she does because she’ll be writing, blogging, and posting regularly. She’s the girl who will suddenly grab a notebook or her phone to write a phrase or idea down for future reference. She’s never fully in the moment because once something interesting happens, she’s already thinking of how to best describe the event on her journal. Her pens are constantly running out of ink so she always has two of them handy in case one fails.

Buy her preferred pen.

Talk to her about your life, your fears, your dreams. She will be interested in them because she’s genuinely curious about people and their motivations. She will chronicle your love story from its inception, its highs and lows, and, if it doesn’t work out, its death. You will find yourself in the characters she is writing. Something you said or did will be immortalized in prose or poem.

You will never be bored with a girl who writes because she lives a colorful life. It doesn’t mean that she goes on an adventure every day. She doesn’t have to. Exploration of humanity is an adventure in itself. She always has stories to tell whether it’s from a movie she saw, a book she read or a conversation she overheard. She is observant not only of her environment but also of herself. She is constantly questioning her life and ideals and asks things like “Why do a lot of people post stuff like ‘Date a girl who (insert hobby here)?’ Is it that hard to find a date these days?” In short, she is nosy as fuck.

She is always contemplating her relationships and that includes her romantic relationship so you better step it up, son.

A girl who writes won’t nag you. Instead she will write with rage about your fight and what an idiot you are in red ink. But a girl who writes is used to looking at both sides of the story because it’s essential for character development. So contrary to what some people say about women to make them seem like irrational beings, a girl who writes doesn’t believe that she is always right.

If you find a girl who writes, don’t lose her. But don’t hover and disturb her when she’s writing either. She will want to write away from you and everyone else from time to time. Leave her be. She will come back to you as soon as she’s done because she might need help editing her work. Be honest when she asks you what you think of her writing.

Date a girl who writes but always remember that the things people do, no matter how interesting or “cool” those things are, do not equate to them having a personality or, more importantly, being a good person. We are nuanced beings and just because someone writes (or reads or travels or runs or climbs mountains or takes photos), it doesn’t mean you can put them in a box and expect them to behave a certain way. Date someone you like and support them in whatever endeavors they pursue. Make sure that the other person will support you, too.

An Open Letter to Friends

Hey, guys!

I feel like we haven’t talked in a while, even including that time when we were all together at the beach drinking bland, tepid beer. And I feel like we will have fewer chances to talk in any significant and vulnerable way in the coming days.

We live disconnected lives now. Margot has her bandmates and many other friends she can jump in and out of. The “Chubby Buddies” have their all boys’ club. Ari and Timothy (and probably the soon-to-be Dr. Remi, too) have their work. And Jordan and I have each other.

I wish I have a support group like Margot’s who’ll encourage me to pursue writing. I wish I have Jordan’s all-consuming love for Skyrim or Ari’s and Timothy’s focus on work to not care about how other people’s lives are progressing. I wish I have the camaraderie of the Chubby Buddies who always find time to see each other on weekends.

I remember when we used to scoff at Martin’s ex-girlfriend Lisa because she couldn’t understand why we always see each other every week. But now I’m no longer part of that group who see each other every week. And it’s not that I want to crash or be invited to these meet-ups. I just want to feel like I also belong somewhere. Anywhere.

You know sometimes I envy religious people because, by default, they have a community they are a part of. And at some point we were like that, a community of some sort.

Sometimes I miss that community. Sometimes I get lonely.

People are moving forward with their lives and it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one stuck in yours. We will soon be (if not already) busy paving our own paths and it will be one of those vague end-of-somethings again. You know that feeling? When you didn’t really say goodbye or end something in a definite manner but you feel like you’ve crossed a line and you can’t go back to whatever you had before. I feel like we’re getting close to that line because of our different priorities and interests. I feel like we will change in small and subtle ways that don’t really feel like change at all. Yet changes significant enough that the chemistry of the group is no longer the same.

I’m not trying to close any metaphorical door here. If at all, I feel like I’m trying to force it open as long as possible. And I don’t mean that we should stay the same people just so we could maintain our “group dynamic.” But I also don’t want to be the kind of friends who are perpetually nostalgic because the past is all they have in common.

This feels very high school, I know. But why does that have to be necessarily a bad thing?

If you can’t understand or won’t even try to understand what I wrote or if you think I’m being dramatic, stupid or sensitive, then maybe we really are different people now. But I hope that’s not the case.

All my love,

Jane

It’s never too early to plan for your Japan trip

I’ve always wanted to go to Japan. Every picture of destinations in Japan and every show or movie shot in it makes the country seem like a fascinating place to be in. I’m also curious about the country because I love Japanese food and grew up on anime. I got to live out my Japan travel dreams last November. To all of you guys who also have Japan in your travel bucket list, here are some quick facts about my Japan trip to help you plan yours.

Visa requirements

For Filipinos, the application process for a Japanese tourist visa is pretty straightforward. You only need to submit the requirements through accredited travel agencies. There’s no need to go to the embassy anymore. A round trip plane ticket isn’t one of the required documents so it’s up to you if you want to buy one before or after you apply for a visa. Time your application to your flight because a Japanese tourist visa is only valid for three months. Our visa application at Reli Tours & Travel Agency cost Php 1,200. Results of the application are released a week after submission, at the latest.

When to go

Once you and your travel buddies have decided that you’re going to Japan, one of the first things you have to consider is the timing of your trip. Japan has four seasons. Right now, it’s spring and cherry blossoms are blooming. I haven’t experienced cherry blossom season so if we want to, we still have a whole year to save for it. Let’s prepare our pockets though because this is peak season. Hotel rates and plane tickets could get pricey.

You might want to go during winter to experience snow but consider that you’ll have to buy bulky winter clothes that will occupy a chunk of your storage space and you’ll never be able to use them in the Philippines. You could go in summer but then Philippine summers are much better because of our many beautiful beaches so why bother? My friends and I went on a week-long trip in autumn because we wanted to experience sweater weather without the hassle of dealing with snow.

Where to go

Sensō-ji, Asakusa, Tokyo

Japan is divided into prefectures each with their own thing going on. We wanted to visit so many places like Nara to see a deer up close or Hiroshima for the floating torii or even Hokkaido for the food. And it’s possible to see all these places in the span of a week if you avail of the Japan Rail (JR) Pass.

The JR Pass gives you unlimited access to all JR trains including their shinkansen or bullet train. It’s available for foreign tourists only. You have to buy the ticket in advance through a travel agency and have it exchanged for the actual pass upon arrival in Japan.

We were tempted to buy the pass but we knew we wouldn’t be able to maximize it. Availing the JR Pass would pressure us to see as many sights as possible without actually appreciating them so we decided against it. Plus, it was expensive.

We focused on three cities for our trip instead. We went to Osaka, the nearby Kyoto and then took a one-way shinkansen to Tokyo.

How much do you need

Hogwarts Castle, Universal Studios, Osaka

Another major travel consideration is how much money you’d need for a trip, mainly airfare and accommodation. It’s easy to find cheap plane tickets if you have patience and foresight. Just wait for the many Cebu Pacific seat sales and you could purchase a round trip ticket to Japan for less than Php 10,000. We booked ours for Php 7,900 (USD 180) in one of those piso fare promos in celebration of Labor Day.

Our accommodation of two rooms for six nights cost each of us Php 18,400 (USD 415). To be more specific, that’s Php 4,100 for two nights in Osaka and Php 14,300 for four nights in Tokyo. This sounds expensive but bear in mind that it’s Japan; everything’s more expensive. You could definitely find cheaper accommodation though. There are inns, dormitories and capsule hotels that run at around Php 1,000-1,500 a night. However, you have to share bathrooms with other guests and if I’m not mistaken, some shared bathrooms in Japan don’t have individual stalls. So depending on your traveling style, airfare and one-week accommodation range from Php 20,000 to 30,000.

My friends and I wanted a comfortable trip so we opted to stay in strategically-located hotels with bathrooms all to ourselves. We agreed that our airfare and accommodation should not exceed Php 30,000, so in our minds, we actually saved a few bucks.

Another variable to consider is your pocket money. How much of it you need for your trip will depend on what activities you’ll be doing. If you’ll only be sightseeing, you can have a smaller budget. But if you plan to go to theme parks and ride the shinkansen, that would increase significantly.

The Sorting Hat placed me in House Lannister. Weird.

Most people visit Universal Studios in Osaka especially Potterheads because of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. A one-day pass at Universal is around Php 2,700 (USD 60). You could save a little if you go for the Universal Express Pass which I recommend if you want to avoid the long lines.

A one-way shinkansen ride from Osaka to Tokyo is around Php 5,500 (USD 125). If you’ll be coming from a different city and want to find out how much a shinkansen trip would cost, you can check out fares here and trip schedules here. The information given in those links can be confusing but you can always ask for bullet train schedules from information counters at train stations. You can also buy your tickets directly from them.

We bought our shinkansen tickets from the information counter on the Universal Studios platform. The receptionist told us which platform we should wait on once we arrive at the Shin-Osaka station. In the vastness of Shin-Osaka, it is highly likely that we might’ve missed our train if not for her directions.

The cheaper way to get to Tokyo from Osaka is by bus. Traveling by bus takes around 8 hours while the shinkansen takes two hours. Buses range in price depending on the type of bus but all of them are cheaper than taking the bullet train.

Food and transportation (excluding shinkansen) for a seven-day trip will cost around Php 10,000 (USD 230). This budget already includes a semi-fancy sushi meal at Tsukiji Fish Market. Of course you can cut down expenses by eating cup noodles and other convenience store food but why the fuck would you do that? Japan has so many delicious things to offer. Eat those things! Scrimp on everything else but not on food.

Where to eat

Since we’re on the topic of food, here are some places where you wouldn’t regret spending your money:

Ramen at Ichiran Ramen, Dotonbori, Osaka – Life-changing!

Sutameshi at Sutameshi Dondon, Shibuya, Tokyo

It’s difficult to find Sutameshi Dondon on Google Maps but you could search for “Napoli’s Pizza & Caffe, Shibuya” and it’s the one beside that. It’s in between Napoli’s and Gaspanic Shibuya. If you’re going to the statue of Hachiko at Shibuya Station, it’s the street across Hachiko.

Omakase at Tsukiji Fish Market, Tokyo – for sushi and sashimi lovers

Coco Curry House, various outlets across Japan – My friend will be mad if I don’t include Coco Curry on this list even though there’s already Coco Curry here in Manila.

Honestly, it’s hard to have bad food in Japan. Even the yakisoba and chicken karaage that you can buy from food stalls at shrines are good. At worst, you’re going to have boring food. But a bad food experience in Japan is unlikely. Unless you eat natto, I guess.

Okonomiyaki!

Where to stay

Hotel Kinki, Osaka

The name of our hotel in Osaka may not be promising and even though it’s located in a red light district, the area doesn’t feel unsafe. Hotel Kinki has clean rooms and is only a ten-minute walk away from Osaka Station.

One of the challenges of traveling is the morning preparation and what I like about the rooms in Hotel Kinki is their toilets and bathrooms are separate. If someone is pooping, the other person doesn’t have to wait for him/her to finish in order to bathe. Also, the sink is outside the shower so one person could brush their teeth while the other person is bathing. It’s a time-saver.

Citadines, Shinjuku, Tokyo

Citadines is an apartment hotel so our rooms were spacious. It had a small kitchen (with utensils!), a desk big enough that you could actually see yourself working on it for a few hours, and comfortable, clean beds. It’s a five-minute walk from the nearest train station which is Shinjuku Sanchome. I have absolutely no complaints on this hotel except that it was expensive. But we were in a central area of Tokyo so it wasn’t much of an issue.

Getting around

Trains and buses are the cheapest and easiest way to travel in Japan. The trains can be a little confusing. We rode the wrong bus and train at least three times. To minimize riding the wrong train, download Japan train apps on your smartphones. They’re incredibly useful.

You can buy postpaid cards to ride buses and trains. When we were researching about them, we learned that there are different cards for different lines or train companies. It was complicated and we didn’t know if we would be able to maximize postpaid cards since we’re going to different prefectures so we decided we’ll just buy a ticket every time we ride a train.

You’ll also need a pocket wi-fi to get around. Aside from posting awesome photos on Instagram, we used it mainly for Google Maps and talking to each other when we split up.

You can rent a pocket wi-fi in Japan on a daily rate. We rented two pocket wi-fi from Pupuru for seven days which cost Php 4,600 (USD 105). You have to purchase Pupuru at least a week before your arrival date. Once they’ve confirmed payment, they will deliver the device directly to your hotel in time for your arrival. There’s no need to worry if you’ll land in one city and leave from another. The cost of Pupuru already covers postage fee, so after your trip, all you need to do is drop the device in any mailbox you can find. The instructions will also be on the package itself.

Those are the basic stuff you need to know in order to prepare for your Japan trip. I know this won’t be the only blog you’ll be reading for tips. We researched a lot, too, when we were planning ours. It’s tedious work but if you want to make the most out of your travel, then it’s worth it.

Here’s some torii at Fushimi Inari-taisha to wish you all the best on your travels.

Summer in Oslob: Whale Shark Warning and Tumalog Falls

Environmentalists and conservationists reading this are going to shake their heads knowing that there’s one more tourist who swam with whale sharks in Oslob. For those planning to do the same, I’m not going to discourage you to do it. But you should know that according to a study by LAMAVE Foundation, a non-profit organization that conducts research on the ocean and its inhabitants, tourists shouldn’t support swimming with the whale sharks or butanding in Oslob because the practices of the boatmen modify the behavior and migration patterns of whale sharks which might affect their survival in the long run.

I’m not trying to be activist-y about the whole thing since that would be hypocritical of me. But I’ve decided not to provide details of the activity that will help you plan your itinerary. You’ll have to check out other travel blogs for that. I also won’t include photos of me swimming with a butanding to avoid glamorizing it.

Generally, I don’t mind sea creatures as long as they don’t come near me so I was excited and anxious to see a butanding up close. Our boatman said that the whale sharks we saw that day were young. The baby whale sharks were around twelve feet long and I could’ve easily fit in their mouths so an adult whale shark would be legit scary.

Small boats carrying tourists were lined up in one row while one boat guided the whale sharks back and forth along the row. I followed the whale sharks as they swam which wasn’t easy. They created a strong current behind them every time they swung their tail fins and the fins I rented were pretty useless. I panicked when they did a 180-degree turn forcing me to be face to face with them. But they didn’t care for anyone except the boatman feeding them plankton. It was amazing to see such huge creatures acting like domesticated pets.

I would love to swim with whale sharks in the “proper, sustainable way.” In other butanding watching sites, there’s only a certain time of the year when you could spot them. But in Oslob, there’s a hundred percent chance of a sighting. And even if you chance upon them in those other sites, you still need, at least, amateur diving skills to get the same experience as the one in Oslob. So I understand why tourists would flock to Oslob for convenience.

After swimming with whale sharks, we went to Tumalog Falls. The motorcycle ride to and from the falls cost Php 150 while the entrance fee is Php 20. You could ride a motorcycle from the entrance to the falls for an additional fee. We decided to walk since the administrator said it was only 500 meters away.

Tumalog Falls was majestic and somewhat otherworldly. My boyfriend said it looked like Rivendell, where the elves in Lord of the Rings lived. The fine, misty water fell in a shallow and muddy water basin. It looked magical especially when beams of light escaped from the leaves of the surrounding trees and hit the water.

We washed off the salt from our bodies in the refreshing, cold water. After a while, we were freezing. Also, it got a little creepy when we had the falls all to ourselves so we went back to our inn, ate breakfast, and left for the city.

The whale sharks distinguish Oslob from other municipalities in Cebu that have better beaches and food so I don’t know if Oslobanons are in any particular hurry to find a more sustainable way of managing the activity, especially if that would mean a decrease in their income. Tumalog Falls is not enough to entice people to visit the area because, aside from a lack of facility, the water basin is too muddy to swim in. In the end, it’s going to be an issue of the preservation of the butanding against the livelihood of the locals. Best of luck, Oslob.

Read the first part of my Oslob trip.

You might also want to read Welcoming summer at Bantayan Island; Bantayan Island Day 2: The Quest for Caves

Summer in Oslob: Sumilon Day Tour

If I haven’t gushed about Cebu, then let me have a moment to do that now. I love Cebu. I’ve only had good memories there. I’ve been visiting the province at least once for the past five years and I can’t get enough. Cebu has two things that I like about Life: good food (specifically, lechon) and beaches.

Most beaches in Cebu are accessible, not secluded places that you can have all to yourself. But that doesn’t make them any less special. I welcome some semblance of civilization in the beaches I go to because you have internet and higher chances of eating good food.

Oslob is one of those non-remote places located in the south of Cebu and it’s popular for its whale sharks. Many blogs I’ve read when I was researching for this trip opted to swim with the whale sharks on their first day. It’s better to do the whale shark activity very early in the morning so that there are fewer tourists. But my boyfriend and I were coming from Cebu City and we refused to rush ourselves to get to Oslob in time for that so we decided to schedule the whale sharks on the second day of our trip. We went to Sumilon Island for our first day instead.

Sumilon is a private island and its only resort is the Bluewater Sumilon Island Resort. For people who aren’t willing/can’t afford the resort’s overnight room rates like myself, they offer day tours. We went to Sumilon because Oslob itself doesn’t have a proper beach. Sumilon Island brags of a beach sandbar and we’re always game for one.

View of Sumilon Island from the dock at Bancogon

To get to Sumilon from Cebu City, take a bus going to Tan-Awan or Oslob (Php 150 for an air-conditioned bus) at the South Bus Terminal. We left at around 5 A.M. and arrived at our destination three hours later. If you want to go straight to the station where the ferry to Sumilon Island docks, you can ask the bus driver to drop you off at Bancogon. We decided to drop off our bags in our “hotel” first before going to the dock.

We stayed at MB Sunrise, which was along the highway, in a fan room (Php 800) that could accommodate three people. MB Sunrise is not a hotel. It’s more of an inn. It’s a big-ish house with rooms they rent out to tourists. Their location is strategic because it’s only a few minutes away from the dock going to Sumilon Island, the whale watching area and Tumalog falls. However, I don’t recommend for you to stay there if you’re not into roughing it. The fan room doesn’t have its own bathroom. I wouldn’t have minded sharing bathrooms with other guests except the bathroom was located outside the actual house and IT HAD NO ROOF. If someone looked out of the windows at the second floor, they could see you pooping. If you will stay at MB Sunrise, maybe get an air-conditioned room because these rooms have a private bathroom. Also, bring a malong or some sheet you could place on top of their bed sheets because if you have sensitive skin, you will cringe at the bed sheet situation.

We rented a motorcycle to take us to Bancogon. The day tour to Sumilon Island is Php 1,500 on weekdays and Php 2,000 on weekends and holidays. This is another reason why we opted to put Sumilon on the first day. We arrived on a Friday and were able to avail the weekday rate. The day tour includes boat transfers to and from the island, lunch, use of swimming facilities, towels and snorkel gear. If you want to time your arrival to their boat schedule, you can check it out here.

At Bancogon, taking a selfie

We missed the 9:30 am departure so we had to wait for the 11:00 am one. They provided a free drink at the dock. The dock itself was not too shabby. They have comfortable beach chairs and clean restrooms. Lounging at the dock while waiting for the next ferry with the hot breeze blowing on your face was a welcome change after being cooped up in a bus.

We arrived at Sumilon Island in time for lunch and we were ecstatic because we haven’t had a proper meal since we left Cebu City. I assumed that the set lunch would only be one plate of food with everything on it but it was served family-style. They even provided two additional menu items on top of the set meal which was pretty great. The food itself was just okay but the fact that we were offered more than we expected and ate while overlooking the sea made up for the bland food.

The things you could do at the island were trek, kayak and swim, and we did all of them. We did the trekking first. We thought the trek would be easy because the receptionist said it would take only 45 minutes. However, the path of the trek is mostly jagged rocks. The island was probably underwater a long time ago that’s why the rock formations are that way. Good thing we took walking sticks that were available at the start of the trek. We needed them for more stability because if we made a wrong step and fell down, we could’ve easily cut our knees or the palms of our hands on those sharp rocks. The view at the top is not something to rave about. The trek ended at the beach and when we saw it, we gratefully submerged ourselves in the water because it was so hot that day.

Entertaining myself with walking sticks
Look at that clear blue sky and bright sunshine and imagine how fucking hot it was that day.

We went kayaking after. The area for kayaking was a small swamp with murky water that reminded me of the Dead Marshes scene from Lord of the Rings.

“The Dead Marshes. Yes, yes! That is their name. This way. don’t follow the lights.”

Afterwards, we got snorkeling gears and went back to the beach hoping to experience the famed sandbar. I guess it was high tide because we saw none of it. The beach itself was not as powdery as I hoped. There were corals on the floor that hurt your feet if you step on it.

If you look closely, you’ll see that I’m wearing flip-flops to avoid hurting my feet.

We also tried their swimming pool which was as much of an experience as all basic swimming pools go. By five o’clock, it was time to wait for the ferry again.

Despite the island being lackluster, I would still recommend the Sumilon day tour because that’s the closest thing to a beach situation you’ll have in that area of Cebu. The beach in Oslob is more suitable for diving and not dipping. And if you just want to chill, Sumilon is a good place to do that.

Happy day tourists

How to achieve that "Balik Alindog": Dieting Edition

There are people who despise working out and there are people who hate dieting. I’m the latter. I enjoy eating too much to be successful at dieting. Yet here I am writing about my fact-based, scientifically-proven insights on how to make dieting bearable for normal humans.

Almost four years ago, I started working in an office job where I sit for eight hours in a day. Fellow corporate slaves who sit through the same thing know that it gets boring. And when I’m bored, food makes a great distraction. After a month in that job, I gained five kilos. I would’ve loved it if some of that weight gain went to my boobs but they all just went to my arms and thighs. It was not cute. So I had to do something about it.

I want to get this body back, you guys. Or not. It’s okay, really. I’m glad I achieved it once and was well documented.

In case you’re expecting to be informed on what diet programs work, I’m sorry to tell you that this is not that kind of post. I don’t know any dieting programs because I don’t follow any. I only read dieting articles online and adapt the ones I could manage doing. Mainly, my “dieting” involves making small adjustments in my eating habits and way of thinking.

I’m the kind of person who always wants to do the thing that people tell me I shouldn’t do. If someone says I can’t eat fries, the more I crave for fries. This personality makes for a dieting disaster. So to make things easier, I ditched the mindset that dieting means depriving myself of certain types of food. Instead, I tricked my mind into believing that I choose not to eat them. It sounds silly but by changing the way I approached the whole thing, dieting became a positive choice I made instead of some imaginary, annoying healthy person telling me that I’m not allowed to do something.

The first thing I did that could be considered dieting was cutting my rice consumption to half. Then, I cut out fizzy drinks, fast food, instant noodles and chips from my life. Not forever, obviously. I mean, I’m not crazy. My love for freshly-cooked McDonald’s french fries is everlasting. I just stopped eating junk for a month.

After getting through that month, I didn’t crave for Coke or chips anymore (except when I’m PMS-ing). I actually don’t like flavored drinks as much now. And I rarely eat fast food. Additional dieting tip: if you do order fast food, don’t order drinks with it anymore.

You could also employ “out of sight, out of mind” just like when you unfollow or block your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend on all social media platforms. Hide your food so that they don’t taunt you to eat them. If you do your own grocery shopping, tell those chips and soft drinks as you roll past them, “Not today, Satan.”

If you think your family members are going to be fine with it, tell them you’re trying to eat more healthy and maybe they could join you in this endeavor. Whoever cooks in your house won’t be happy because you’re asking him/her to create new menu items. Make the transition easier by extending help in the kitchen.

If your family wants to stick to the food they’re used to eating, then change the time you eat instead. Tell your cook that you’d appreciate it if you can have dinner ready by 6 PM. I read somewhere that you should eat dinner three to four hours before you sleep. I don’t know the scientific explanation for it but it works. And if you really have to munch on something before going to bed, eat something fibrous like oatmeal or a fruit.

Even if there’s no way to change your family’s eating habits, you still have one meal in a day that you don’t share with them. Eat healthier meals during lunch and then when you get home for dinner, eat slower and spread your food around your plate so that it looks like you’re eating a lot. Give yourself enough time to adjust to your new eating pattern, at least a month. Don’t crash diet. It’s going to make you miserable.

Full disclosure: After I took this photo, I ate so many BonChon chicken wings and japchae.

When I’m preparing for something, say a beach trip, I still eat out whenever I want. And I don’t consider it my “cheat day” either. Having cheat days implies that you’re doing something bad. And you shouldn’t have to feel bad about eating what you want. Besides, having a cheat day gives the impression that this is the only time of the week when you’re “allowed to eat as much as you want” and as a result, you might pig out on so much junk food that it nullifies your healthy eating for the rest of the week.

If you don’t want to change the food you eat, then just change how much you eat. Let’s not make it more difficult for anyone. But again, you really have to drop the soft drinks and the chips. You don’t need to drink Gatorade after every workout especially if you only work out for 30 minutes. Water is fine. You also don’t need granola or protein bars. Those things are loaded with sugar and you don’t need them in your life. If you have to drink alcohol, avoid beers and mixed drinks. Go for hard liquor like vodka and drink it straight or on the rocks. You can also opt for wine if you’re fancy like that.

I only really diet the week before my goal or event I’m preparing for. This means eating hard-boiled eggs, corned tuna with SkyFlakes, yogurt and fruits. I hate eating fruits but that’s what I snack on during this week. Romaine lettuce become my chips and Kewpie roasted sesame dressing is my dip. I also eat more fiber like oatmeal and whole wheat bread.

I love whole wheat bread. My body is basically powered by whole wheat bread. I can eat it with anything. For all the lazy people out there, here are some stuff you can enjoy with whole wheat bread:

  • (chili) corned tuna
  • Vienna sausage
  • cheddar cheese slices
  • cheddar cheese slices and butter then heat it in a pan if you want to make it a grilled cheese sandwich
  • cream cheese
  • smoked salmon and cream cheese
  • Spanish sardines
  • Spam
  • corned beef
  • fried egg and ketchup
  • bacon
  • bacon with cheddar cheese
  • bacon, lettuce and cheddar cheese
  • smoked ham (see: bacon pairings)
  • peanut butter
  • Nutella
  • your hopes and dreams

Of course I’m assuming that you’re working out the entire time this meal adjustment is happening. Some people diet hard because they don’t work out. I don’t know if that’s okay. I love eating more than I hate working out so I diet a little and I work out a little. This way, I maintain my sanity. It’s all about moderation.

Having said all this, there is a way to feel great about yourself without dieting and working out and it’s called “accepting yourself for who you are and not giving a fuck about what others think.” This is a much longer process than dieting and working out though. I heard it takes many years. I want to achieve that, too. But in the meantime, I’m working on feeling good on the outside. Baby steps.

How to achieve that "Balik Alindog"

I’m not an expert in nutrition or physical fitness. I’m not a professional trainer either. And I most certainly don’t have abs to brag about so of course it makes total sense that I write an entire blog post telling you how to work out and live your life.

Seen here: Me without abs. But I’m going to go ahead and share what I know anyway.

No one who exercises does it because they want to. At least if you’re like me and you’re reading this for inspiration, then you work out because you feel like you have to. I mean, if I were like my boyfriend who doesn’t get fat no matter how much food he shoves down his mouth, I wouldn’t exercise at all.

The beginning is always the hard part. The first thing you need to do before starting a workout routine is to determine what you like doing and what you want to achieve. If you’re hyperactive, maybe you’d like an intense workout like circuit training or CrossFit. If you want something more relaxed (and your body is flexible), do yoga. If you’re competitive, maybe you’ll thrive in a gym where you can race against other people running on treadmills or bench press heavier weights than the guy next to you. If you love to dance, there are lots of dance workouts to choose from. You can also take up group sports but this will be harder to organize because you’ll rely on other people’s schedules. Also, group workouts usually end up in group eating.

I’d like to join a gym or do those pole-dancing or aerial yoga things but the problem is I hate spending money on anything exercise-related. My rubber shoes are gifts. My dumbbells are given by a friend. I bought the cheapest exercise mat I could find. And I just go to YouTube for my workout programs.

I love online workouts because you could do almost all of them whenever you want at the comfort of your own room. I always recommend Jillian Michaels’ 30-day shred to friends because it’s just the right pace and even though it’s hard, it’s not too hard that you want to quit on the very first day. It’s also very short for a relatively intense workout—less than 30 minutes. You can also try Shaun T’s Insanity workout if you want a challenge. There are also a lot of 10-minute workouts online and you can do three of them in a day if you get easily bored with repetitive exercises.

Once you’ve decided what workout you’ll be doing, you have to find a motivation to keep at it. It has to be something bigger than “Balik Alindog.” You need to have a concrete target. It can be anything like attending a wedding, a beach trip, buying an outfit that would only look good on you if you’re fit, or making your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend regret leaving you. Or it can be something less superficial like doing it for your health or whatever. Just find that motivation. For me, I work out so that I can keep fitting in my clothes. Even though I enjoy shopping, I’d be depressed if I had to buy new clothes because I got bigger.

It’s hard to stay motivated, I get it. On days when I’m feeling lazy, I get up and change to my workout clothes anyway. Sometimes that’s all the incentive I need because I’ll be too lazy to change back to my regular clothes so I might as well work out. But sometimes I really can’t or don’t want to exercise. And if that happens to you, it’s okay to take a break. Don’t force yourself to work out because you might end up hating it altogether. But you have to work out at least three times a week.

Get a workout routine going whether that be in the morning or once you get home from work. I prefer working out in the morning. It jump-starts your day. There’ll be fewer clothes to wash because you won’t need to shower twice a day. Your belly is empty in the morning so after a morning workout you have the illusion that you’re that much closer to achieving a flat tummy. And there is better lighting in the morning which is great for after-workout selfies. The only downside is you have to wake up earlier than usual.

If you’re working out by yourself, you have to have a semblance of discipline. And I hate to break it to you but I can’t give you discipline through this blog post. No amount of reading could help you if you don’t plan on doing it. Please seek the services of a trainer.

Try working out this week and see how it goes. If you’re still up to it, next week, we’ll talk about dieting. (Yikes.)

We can do it, guys!

Number Coding Movie: Labs Kita, Okey Ka Lang?

Friends who fall in love with each other? The plot is cliché and has been done so many times, but we love it because we’ve all been there. Yes, we have. Don’t deny it. Plus, this movie starred Jolina Magdangal and Marvin Agustin—the best comedic love team of our generation.

“Labs Kita, Okey Ka Lang?” is a cinematic masterpiece whose dialogues we still quote to this day. There’s much to talk about so let’s plunge into this amazing movie.

The movie opens with a montage—which is always a good sign—and then cuts to Bujoy (Jolina) and Ned (Marvin) together in the former’s room at night.

I don’t find this situation OK.

They’re college students with raging hormones. If I were Bujoy’s mom, I’d be worried, or wonder why I even let the sleepover happen in the first place. Can’t they just hang out in the living room? Bujoy’s family has a pretty big house, and I’m sure there are other places these two can stay in besides the teenage girl’s room. I guess Bujoy’s mom, Marissa (Hilda Koronel), is not like a regular mom. (She’s a cool mom!)

Ned and Bujoy even have ladders that allow access to their respective rooms. Were there no house robberies in Baguio in the ‘90s? But I admit I liked that idea when I was younger; it seemed quaint.

Anyway, Bujoy and Ned snack on Pringles dipped in Coke—something I used to pretend I liked because of this movie. What a waste of Pringles—which were very expensive then—and Coke.

Another idea I got from this movie was putting flowers in between pages of books. I eventually learned that doing so makes the flowers’ “juices” or whatever seep out and stain the paper. It’s a mess.

I love Mayo’s (Meryll Soriano) fashion sense, and I can see her being a fashion blogger today. She would totally kill it. #fashion #blogger #fashionblogger #fblogger #fashionista #ootd #wiwt #style #matching #streetstyle #trendy #baguio #vintage #pinay #asian #instafashion #igdaily #igers #headtotoeprints #fierce #iwokeuplikethis

Speaking of #fashion, Jolina really was a trendsetter. I bought one of those woven shoulder bags because she made them look cool. I also coveted her long, straight hair. And the men! Baggy t-shirts, hair parted in the middle—I’m glad we’re over those. Not that I’m a fan of guys in super skinny jeans, but they’re better off this way.

We get a preview of Ned’s and Bujoy’s family dramas. Bujoy is the weird one in her family of classy females, while Ned’s is just chaotic. Raise your hands if you were able to relate to Ned for having a mother who gets irritable whenever she doesn’t have money…which is basically ALL THE TIME.

Meanwhile, I sympathized with Bujoy when she found out that her single mom has a boyfriend. I get it, Bujoy. I mean, what does she need a man for? She’s fine by herself! But now I’d actually be supportive if my own mom went on dates. It would be weird, but I’m not averse to the idea anymore.

And then Gio Alvarez shows up. I genuinely found his character Cenon hot—hotter than Ned, definitely. Yeah, lip sync to that Eraserheads song, Cenon!

The first major conflict of the movie emerges when Ned meets Mary Ann (Vanessa del Bianco), who’s everything Bujoy isn’t: pretty, bubbly, sexy and girly. As if I needed to relate to Bujoy even more. I feel you, girl. I’m not all of those things either.

Ned asks Bujoy to set him up on a date with Mary Ann, and of course, Bujoy doesn’t want to because she’s in love with him. And I’ve been there, you guys. (We’ve all been there! Gahd.)

When I was in high school, I had a HUGE crush on this guy. He was cute, tall, funny and super smart, and I’ve been nursing a crush on him since sixth grade. Unfortunately, he had a crush on another girl who was a close friend. He used me as a wingman, just like Ned did with Bujoy.

He texted me about his feelings for this girl, and asked me what he should do or say. All the while, I was trying to show my cool and fun personality. But whenever I felt like we were going in the direction I wanted during our conversations, he would start asking questions about this girl again. It was awful. Ah, teenage life! I wrote so many cringe worthy poems because of my unrequited love for him. End of story: He confessed his crush to this girl, but they didn’t end up together. (hahaha!) The following year he got himself a girlfriend. (huhuhu)

When Bujoy tells Ned that she had successfully set up a date between him and Mary Ann, Ned starts playfully planting kisses on Bujoy’s face out of happiness and excitement. I remember my guy best friend in high school used to do that, too. Just a single kiss on the cheek, though, and it didn’t happen that often. He ended up being my first boyfriend. What I’m saying is that I had basically lived “Labs Kita, Okey Ka Lang?” Art imitating life! Holla.

Then Cenon makes a move on Bujoy.

<cue double date montage>

All these scenes look painful. Like, why even double date, guys? Stop torturing yourselves and making each other peanut butter and jealous.

Can I also say that the soundtrack of this movie is on point? Are we still making cheesy songs, OPM artists? Please say yes.

And then we finally arrive at this scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4Z679733E4

OMG this scene. Let us bask in its glory as we break it down.

First of all, I love the shot that shows Bujoy from inside the car, fixing stuff, while Ned is in focus in the background. And when Ned announces that he and Mary Ann are officially a couple, the camera shifts focus on Bujoy’s blank face. It was perfect dramatic timing.

Bujoy breaks down and screams all her feelings. Ned hugs her, somewhat confesses his feelings, and pulls out all these lame ass excuses. Question for the men: Is the fear of losing the girl friend you love so great that you would rather not have her as your girlfriend?

Bujoy gives a great summary of what Ned is—a selfish coward. Run away from that boy, Bujoy!

And then we are given another gem: Bujoy and her mother’s confrontation. When I first saw this scene, I felt for Bujoy and her teen drama about feeling misunderstood. Like, what does my mom know anyway? But now I’d probably dish out some tough love to Bujoy and tell her that she needs to give her mother a break.

The line I always remember from this movie is, “You made me feel ugly, Ma!” And it’s not because my mother made me feel ugly. (Although she didn’t make me feel super pretty either.)

We joke about how no child is ugly in the eyes of his or her mother. Well, my mom’s not like that; I don’t get free compliments just because I’m her daughter. And I’ve accepted that. I was a tomboy and nerdy-looking when I was in high school and college. I didn’t know how to dress myself or get my face done. She bought cute clothes and shoes, but I refused to wear them because I wasn’t comfortable in them, which probably frustrated her.

Now I know how to fix myself. Thus, she can finally tell me I’m beautiful or sexy—but, again, only when applicable. Would I rather she lied? I don’t know.

We are blessed for a few minutes with the acting powers of Ronaldo Valdez in his scene with Gina Pareño. Ronaldo’s face was a mixture of humiliation, anger, frustration and love. He didn’t overdo it, too. UGH. And Gina Pareño is always a joy to watch.

So they cranked up the tension through a bus chase scene. We will see these “will they, won’t they make it” moments forever and ever. And just when all hope of being together is seemingly lost, one of them appears out of nowhere, and we buy it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Because destiny! And love!

I like how, in the end, Ned and Bujoy awkwardly say, “I love you,” to each other. Ned used to jokingly say it all the time, but now it’s different; it’s weird and they will try to see how this goes. I think I’m not alone in saying this: I want to know what happens next.

Ned and Bujoy, forever in our hearts.

Edited by Allan Policarpio

A Brief History of Travel

Travel with someone whose company you enjoy most of the time. And I say “most of the time” because even though traveling is fun, it can also bring out the unattractive side of people when they’re tired, lost and/or hungry. Some people don’t like traveling and that’s okay. But there’s nothing like seeing a new place and sharing an experience to elevate a friendship to another level.

My friends and I started our excursions when we were in high school. Every Sunday after mass, we would go to KFC to eat breakfast and hang out. Hanging out at KFC is a good preview of everyone’s eating habits. You get to know who’s a picky eater, who always needs extra rice or orders root beer, and who saves the chicken skin for the finale. You note down these quirks so that you know who to invite on a food trip in the future.

We got tired of hanging out at KFC so we began discovering what the city had to offer on Sunday mornings. We went to our city’s museum, the cemetery beside our school, and an old house that they said was haunted. Most of the time, we’d end up walking to the house of one of my friends. We’d stay there until late in the afternoon or until one of our mothers texts or calls asking where we are and why we aren’t home yet. These Sunday walkathons turned to out-of-town trips during summer breaks.

Enchanted Kingdom
Splash Island

Then college happened and people went their separate ways. Everyone was focused on adjusting to their own new environments. And as much as our high school promises to keep in touch, be best friends forever, and hang out were lovely, you really won’t be able to keep that promise to everyone. I still saw my friends but we didn’t go to any trips until we were in our second year of college.

It was hard getting people together in college, but it’s harder when everyone’s working. Everyone’s suddenly busy with Real Life, which is a more legitimate kind of busy than “busy studying.” It took us another three years to get our bearings in the real world before we finally took our first out-of-the-country trip together.

We went to Korea in the fall of 2012.

Namsangol Hanok Village, South Korea

The idea of flying with friends to a new country was exciting. We felt like adults when we were planning our trip, saving our work money, processing our visas and researching about Korea. We shared a room with each other for six days. We got lost. We walked so many hours together. We got frustrated with each other. And we have many stories to reminisce because of it.

Chi Lin Nunnery, Hong Kong
Consulting the tourist map, Hong Kong

Even though we had different experiences in our trip to Hong Kong last 2013 and Japan in 2014, the spirit was almost the same as our Korea trip. We still walked a lot, got lost, got annoyed with each other, and for some reason always ended up eating at a KFC at least once.

Trying to find our hotel in Osaka
Asakusa, Japan

I understand my friends better because of our travels. I know their sleeping, pooping and spending habits. I know how they are when they’re pissed. And I know what makes them happy (good food). I want to keep discovering things about my friends even if that means I have to sleep through six nights of bed-shaking snoring again because in return they put up with my mood swings. We’re more than quits.

My friends and I don’t have any travel plans yet for 2015. Or even if we did, I wouldn’t write about it because of my pre-travel anxiety. We used to travel as a big group in high school, at least ten people. But now the most we could gather is a group of six. We still haven’t traveled as a complete group and I hope we get to do that soon. It sounds like it will be a fun mess.