The Opposite of Forever

A former classmate posted a picture of her and her boyfriend for their anniversary and the caption was: “I will love you always and forever.” I envy people who could throw words like “forever” so casually. I wish I were as sweet to my boyfriend, and could tell him that I will love him forever, too. But I can’t ’cause I probably won’t mean it.

Forever means “for always, for all eternity, endlessly.” I hate to break it to you, guys, but we’re all going to die. So unless I write a great novel about my love for my boyfriend, my love will not live on after my death. And even if I do write a bestselling novel on my love for him, it still won’t assure that my love will last forever because the sun is going to burn the earth at some point killing all of us. That or our galaxy will crash against another, obliterating everything inside it, including our promises of forever. The future is bleak!

Perhaps you’re thinking that I should CALM DOWN and stop taking “forever” too literally. Maybe the girl was just being poetic and what she really wanted to say was that she would love her boyfriend constantly, repeatedly, or regularly. This sounds doable compared to the word’s grander definition. But I still don’t think I can say that I will love my boyfriend forever.

I can’t love my boyfriend constantly because love is not constant. Sometimes I love him so much and sometimes it just feels like we’re going through the motions of being together. Sometimes I feel like I love him more than he loves me and sometimes it’s the other way around. And sometimes we get so pissed at each other that we don’t want to see each other’s faces.

I talked to one of my friends about forever and she said she believes in it. She thinks her relationship right now will last forever. And she feels that if this relationship doesn’t work out, she won’t be able to find another guy she’d want to spend the rest of her life with. (Which sounds contradictory because if she thinks her relationship will last forever, then why is she thinking of break up scenarios?)

And I guess some people are hardcore like that. They believe that there’s no point  in loving someone if you’re not going to give your all to the relationship anyway. And sometimes they give their all and leave nothing for themselves. I can’t do that.

What I’ve learned is that I have to love myself first before I can properly love another person. (Cliché, cliché, cliché. Whatever.) I’m not saying I love everything about myself now but I’ve gotten a lot better at it. If you don’t love yourself while you’re in a relationship, you expect your partner to fill that void for you. You either set your expectations unreasonably high that you always get disappointed or so low that you leave no room for some self-respect. You end up loving the idea of being loved instead of loving the person who loves you. It’s unfair and unhealthy in the long run.

You might be pitying my boyfriend right now because I sound like a dreadful girlfriend. I have not painted us as the couple who’s crazy in love. We don’t do grand, romantic gestures of love. We don’t have intense fights. We have small, quiet moments usually disturbed by the sound of laughter. To each his own when it comes to love. All I’m saying is that this state of non-foreverness is working for me.

My wedding is going to be AWESOME.

I am skeptical of the whole institution of marriage. I didn’t have a lot of inspiring examples of a functional and traditional complete family growing up. And now that I am grown up enough to know about the histories of my aunts and uncles, I’m just more paranoid. What if I’m genetically predisposed to a state of non-marriage? What if karma comes back to bite me in the ass for my past sins? And the thing that scares me the most (which I heard is bound to happen), what if after a few years, you find that you don’t love each other anymore and you’re stuck with each other just because you’re married? And you have to suck it up “because of the kids.”

All those worries aside, I still can’t help but think of weddings. Maybe it’s because of my newly discovered interest in everything stereo-typically girly like putting on make-up or dressing up. Maybe it’s my age. Maybe it’s the boyfriend. Maybe I’m just bored. No matter what the reason, I’m fascinated about having a day dedicated solely to publicly celebrating your love for each other.

But let’s be honest here, weddings are all about the bride. You can go on months and months yapping about bridal dresses and how stressed you are with your future in-laws, preparing the seat plan, and bitching about the caterer. And no one’s allowed to say anything because they’re supposed to be happy for you. Your wedding will be your fifteen minutes of fame. It’s the best excuse to have professionals over just to do your hair and make up. It is your red carpet moment. It is the makeover montage that will play in your head forever.

So to quote Julia Roberts, I say unto you guys, “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to humor these wedding scenarios that I have planned.”

THE PROPOSAL

I love surprises. The first time my boyfriend pulled off a surprise, I cried. And we’re just talking about a bouquet of flowers here. I’m not saying the proposal has to be big. But a wedding proposal while on a hot air balloon ride would be much welcome.

I also love the Ayala Triangle Lights and Sound Show during the Christmas season. Imagine going to that show, expecting to hear Christmas songs being played, and then instead you hear an orchestra version of Train’s “Marry Me.” And then your guy comes out of the shadows, gets down on one knee, says he couldn’t have phrased it any better, recites the lyrics of the song to you, and finally asks for your hand in marriage. And all the Christmas lights are twinkling, reflecting all the happiness you feel inside. I would just be a puddle of tears, I tell you.

But the proposal doesn’t have to be a huge public thing. All that matters is the sincerity. So if my boyfriend pours his heart out singing and dancing Justin Timberlake’s “My Love,” I would already consider that a great proposal. He has to be wearing a suit though. I don’t care where we are but the suit is a requisite.

THE DRESS

Red is my power color. However, I have seen some horrific red-themed weddings so I’m going for a burgundy/wine-colored theme instead. It might be the classier choice.

I love this dress. It’s not really a wedding dress so it’s different. It’s sleek at the top and all glamour at the bottom. It’s badass. And it has my power color. Just change the lower part from red to burgundy and I’m sold.

Ethereal is not a word anyone would use to describe me, but I think this Reem Acra gown could change that. So if I wanted to feel like a fairy princess on my wedding day, this would be the dress that will make it happen. I would probably request the dressmaker that the tulle skirt be detachable though. I still want to be able to wear the tube sheath dress underneath after the wedding. I mean, let us be practical. Am I right, ladies?

For the ladies who will be in the entourage, I have two choices. This dress in burgundy:

Or this, because it looks cool and pretty at the same time. But I don’t know how to customize the color to match my chosen theme:

What I do know is that I want that ruffly, poofy thing underneath to be detachable too so that it can still be used for less formal occasions. I’m really all about getting bang out of my buck.

As for the men, well, you just have to live up to Ryan Gosling and Andrew Garfield’s image. Everyone can pull this off, right? No big deal.

THE WEDDING

The civil wedding will be held in a country where divorce is legal because I’m romantic like that. I don’t think a beach wedding is my thing. A church wedding is out of the question. But I do want to walk down some sort of aisle.

So here’s what’s going to happen: the venue of the wedding will also be that of the reception, like a hotel ballroom or those makeshift tent/events place thing. And people will not be walking down the aisle but on an actual runway. I want it to be like an actual runway show—lights, sounds, a handful of photographers, and guests seated along the runway. Everyone is required to wear something avant-garde. I don’t care what their understanding of avant-garde is. Like, they could wear a duster and bedroom slippers, I would totally support it.

Our first dance will be something sweet like “The Way You Look Tonight” which will be remixed with Justin Timberlake’s “Suit & Tie.” And then we’ll have this cool choreographed dance that will leave everyone stunned. All other dances after that will be rendered useless.

Honestly, it’s not that I want to get married. I just want to go to a themed party. And if I will be the center of attention of said themed party, that would be great.

I would be equally happy attending other people’s weddings though, but I haven’t had many opportunities to do so. I have exactly zero close girl friends who peaked early and are now considering settling down. My guy friends are not getting married any time soon, if at all. That’s why I’m conjuring all these wedding plans in my head when all I really want is to attend a cool themed party. So if anyone of you knows any themed weddings/party I could crash, kindly send your e-vites to jenjalandoni710@gmail.com.

I wish you all no kilig feelings.

The first time I felt kilig was in Grade 4.

I had a crush on this guy sitting behind me in class. We weren’t particularly close, but we knew each other because we’ve been classmates since first grade. He was friends with my seatmate and they talked a lot. And because I could hear most of their conversations, I started liking him for his humor.

One time, during class, my hair—which is not one of my best features—was up in a ponytail when  he suddenly stroked it. I was startled. I looked at him as if to ask, “What are you doing?” Without preamble, he said, “Your hair reminds me of a horse’s tail. It’s so thick and long.” It wasn’t really what you’d call a compliment, but because he kept on touching my hair afterward, I assumed that he liked doing it.

I had always put my hair up in a ponytail because it’s always a mess, and it made me feel good that this guy liked something about me I’m not confident about. I didn’t know how to react, but all I knew was that I should always tie my hair up from then on.

The closest English translation of kilig that I could think of is probably “butterflies in your stomach” —except you only feel it when you like someone. Kilig is like a combination of thrill, anxiety, and delight. It’s what you feel when someone you like gives you flowers, draws a portrait of you, smiles and greets you, or likes a tagged photo of you on Facebook. You feel warm and fuzzy inside. You can’t hold back your smile. Sometimes you want to squeal or jump in excitement. Some of my girl friends even call  the feeling “a fallopian dance” when the kilig level goes off the charts.

The thing with kilig is, for it to happen, there has to be uncertainty involved. Even if the guy you like touches your hair, you still don’t know how he feels about you. You like it but you don’t know what to do about it. You conjure scenarios in your head on how things can move forward but, most of the time, you can’t muster enough courage to act on it because the evidence of that person liking you is so flimsy. I mean, what if he just really likes touching hair? It all boils down to “What if you’re the only one who gets kilig?”

I haven’t felt kilig for a long while now. At first I thought maybe it’s because only teenagers are susceptible to these things. But I know that’s not true because some of my friends still have major kilig moments. It’s not that I’m unhappy or that my love life is bland. It’s just that I haven’t felt uncertain of my place in a relationship for a while. When my boyfriend gives me flowers, whether there’s an occasion or not, I feel happy. When I know we’re going out on a date, I’m excited. When he hugs me, I feel loved. My feelings are rarely confused so there’s less kilig, just more happiness and love.

Kilig is great. It feels good no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship. It makes you feel young. The key is that you move on to other emotions as your relationship progresses. Kilig alone is not a good foundation. Kilig is not something you strive for. (And I’m looking at you Maya and Ser Chief.)

NO.

Image via

Ayutthaya, Asiatique and a little bit of red light district

For our second day in Thailand, we got up early to catch the Special Express train leaving for Ayutthaya at 5:45 am. The train was air-conditioned, offered reserved seating, and, to our welcome surprise, included breakfast. Here’s the train schedule from Hua Lamphong to Ayutthaya train station if you plan to go there too. We hired a van to tour us around Ayutthaya.  If you’re on a budget, you can opt for a tuk-tuk instead.

Wat Chaiwatthanaram

Ayutthaya used to be a Siamese kingdom so there are a lot of temples and ruins. I haven’t been to Cambodia but I have seen pictures. And the ruins in Ayutthaya reminded me of Angkor Wat.

If you’ve read my Korean blog post, you would know that we don’t go for guided tours. So while other tourists were getting schooled about why some of the Buddhas’ heads were missing, we came up with our own story. There’s this complex of ruins where a big Buddha statue lorded over numerous smaller, headless Buddhas. Our short story went like this: The tiny Buddhas have had enough of the big Buddha’s dictatorship so they staged an uprising. But the tiny Buddhas were not unified in their attack so they lost and were beheaded for their rebellious act.

The other story we concocted was that Ayutthaya was conquered by outside forces and took over the kingdom. To show the people of Siam who the new rulers were, the conquerors defiled their temples by removing all the Buddha heads from their bodies.

Aside from the ruins, the other reason why we went to Ayutthaya was to ride an elephant. Animal rights activists do not support this trade because they said that mahouts or elephant trainers torture elephants to make them obedient. But if you really want to ride an elephant, based on this blog, make sure to patronize a camp where the elephants are not chained up when they’re not giving rides to tourists, that they get to interact with other elephants, and that they don’t exhibit rocking which is a symptom of distress. Luckily, the camp in Ayutthaya satisfied all of those things except that they gave rides on the back of the elephant, not on the head, which is a no-no.

All those concerns aside, riding an elephant was definitely a unique experience. You had this calm beast working its way around a city, crossing the street and avoiding cars like it’s no big deal. It was walking on the sidewalk like a good pedestrian. It was so cute. I felt like waving to everyone because this ride made me feel like I’m a Thai princess in an ancient city. Our elephant’s name is Thaeng Mo (I don’t know if I’m spelling it correctly). She is four years old and is very calm unlike the other elephant Lola. Lola is quite a personality. She doesn’t care: She will stop and eat when she wants to, and has no qualms about posing in front of a camera.

Lola, the mahout, Matt and mother

After the elephant ride, we dropped by the other temples. But since they all pretty much looked alike, we didn’t bother exploring all of them anymore. Plus, we only had bread for breakfast and were starving so we finished the tour after seeing the 16,583,493th Reclining Buddha in Thailand.

Our lunch was another experience altogether. We had spicy papaya salad, pad thai, a seafood platter and this AMAZING seafood curry. I want to say the elephant ride was the highlight of our Ayutthaya tour but the lunch was a very, very close second. I tried to look for the name of the restaurant and I’m sure I snapped a photo of it, but I can’t find it right now. What I can tell you though is that the restaurant is just across the train station and near a 7-Eleven store. Find it, guys.

Moving ovens called trains

The train going back to Bangkok was so much cheaper than the Special Express train, and for one torturous reason—it was a moving oven. Ordinary trains had no air-conditioning and was free seating (read: free standing). There were ceiling fans for ventilation and fresh air came in from tiny windows. Again, this was the height of summer so just imagine all that pent up heat inside a steel carriage packed with passengers at two in the afternoon. The most fascinating thing that we observed during this hot ride was that the locals weren’t sweating despite the heat, and that none of them reeked of body odor. We were the ones who probably smelled bad and for that we are sorry, people of Thailand.

I made a new friend during our train ride.

That night, we went to Asiatique The Riverfront for dinner. From our hotel, we walked to Saphan Taksin train station where there’s a free boat ride to Asiatique. It’s a great place to go if you want to do some night shopping. It’s a combination of small stalls selling bazaar items and shops of cute Thai brands.

From Asiatique we went to Soi Cowboy, which is one of the popular red light districts in Bangkok. This is where they filmed some scenes of The Hangover Part 2. It’s just a short strip of clubs with lots of foreigners and girls showing off their wares. We chanced upon this lady opening up her legs in front of a potential client. I guess they do this so that the customer can check whether they have the right sexual organs or not, because in Thailand, you can never be too sure if you’re dealing with a real lady or a very pretty boy. I wonder what Buddha has to say about prostitution in Thailand?

Read the first part of our Thailand trip.

Summer in Bangkok: The Grand Palace, Wat Pho and a Tuk-Tuk Ride

You shall not pass.

Our trip to Thailand did not start off smoothly. We went there to celebrate Jonas’ birthday and the birthday boy almost got left behind. We bought his ticket months before, when he was still based in Cebu so his flight was Cebu-Manila-Bangkok. Come February, he was assigned back to Manila. We thought we could still use the same ticket, but they cancelled his flight because he failed to check-in in Cebu. They had to make us wait until there was only 45 minutes left before they allowed us to check-in our baggage. We also had to buy a one-way ticket to Bangkok for Jonas which cost as much as his round trip flight. But we pushed it so it’s all good. The lessons learned: read the fine print and do not book connecting flights. Just book two separate flights instead.

Hurray! Celebratory pose because all of us made it.

I am embarrassed to admit that I am one of those people who expected Thailand to be dirty and chaotic because of The Hangover Part II. But once we arrived at Suvarnabhumi International Airport, I knew I was wrong. I really shouldn’t have judged too early because Bangkok is so much better than Manila infrastructure-wise. Their airport is bigger with better facilities. Their roads are clean, well-maintained and not peppered with potholes. I was jealous and felt a little bad for the Manila. Excluding airfare, our budget for our four-day stay in Thailand was Php15,000. We stayed at Holiday Inn, Silom at a discounted rate thanks to Matt.

Point and shoot.

Our first order of business when we arrived was to eat. We found this cafeteria-type food court near our hotel. The vendors and customers knew little to no English so we didn’t bother asking what kinds of food were available. We just based our orders on what they looked and smelled like, and copied whatever the locals did.

What’s for brunch? These things. I don’t know what they’re called.

Thai food uses a lot of spices and it’s so fragrant. It’s too fragrant that I think I can taste flowers in some of their food. We also tried some of their drinks. One of them was like a very sour raspberry juice then the other was like a combination of some sort of tea with hints of what a smelly sock would taste like. It was weird but I enjoyed it after a few sips and managed to finish the whole glass. We had mango sticky rice for dessert to cap off our cheap but flavorful Thai meal.

Mother’s face says it all.

After brunch, we went to the Grand Palace. When I was researching about the Grand Palace, I read that there was a dress code. No sleeveless and midriff-baring tops. No shorts or miniskirts. And no slippers. But when we got there, there were tourists wearing shorts, flip-flops and sleeveless tops. We went to Thailand during Holy Week which was the height of the summer heat. I regretted wearing jeans that day.

The Grand Palace is not so grand. Sure it was expansive and the designs on the walls, floors and ceilings are intricate when you look at it up close but it still wasn’t impressive. But then again we don’t have any palaces in the Philippines to rival Thailand’s Grand Palace so who am I to not be impressed? Maybe it was the heat or the great number of tourists that took away from the experience. But it’s one of those places you have to visit just to get it out of the way. All I’m saying is, The Grand Palace is not a place you would come back for.

To add to the typical Thailand tourist experience, we rode a tuk-tuk to Wat Pho. I was surprised that tuk-tuks are battery-powered and are actually pretty fast vehicles. They are way, way better than our tricycles.

Matt and the Giant Reclining Buddha

Wat Pho is the temple that houses the giant Reclining Buddha. You won’t really do much there except take a picture with the Reclining Buddha in the background. That is it. I read that there’s a good Thai massage place around Wat Pho but we were over the whole thing. We skipped the dinner cruise on the Chao Phraya river because it was a little expensive, we were tired, and we still had an early start the next day for our Ayutthaya tour.

Let’s go back to Seoul!

Annyeong and welcome back, friends! Have you booked your tickets to Korea? Of course you have. You just don’t know it yet. Let’s continue our Seoul adventure and hope that this time, no one gets lost or left behind. Aja!

The rain came pouring down on our fourth day, so we decided to go somewhere indoors; we ended up at the National Museum of Korea. It was an impressive building on the inside because it was so bright. But apart from that, the museum houses the usual fare of artifacts enclosed in glass cases. The food at the food court was good though, and a lot of cute souvenirs could be found in the gift shop.

Speaking of cute, we headed to Insadong after our pseudo-cultural excursion. Now this place is “Cute Central.” Most of the trinkets being sold in shops lining the stretch of Insadong’s main road and its arteries were unique and handmade– things you won’t find anywhere else. And so the prices were understandably a bit steep. I went crazy over these handmade metal earrings because no two designs were the same. The earrings didn’t even have matching pairs, which was super cool. It wasn’t shopping day yet so I just feasted my eyes on them.

Umm…speaking of cute…

Hesed said he was tired and would rather go back to the hotel. And he did, of course. The rest of us decided to walk from Insadong to Namdaemun Night Market. It was the best worst decision we made during our trip. From Insadong we walked about half the length of Cheonggyecheon, where we spotted couples warming each other by using their bodies in the cold night, beside the cold stream. By the time we reached the east end of the stream, my bladder was already sending me “I need to pee” signals.

More canoodling couples along the Cheonggyecheon stream.

We weren’t sure where to go after Cheonggyecheon. We crossed over the road immediately before us, saw a police station, and asked for directions. It was of little help though since we couldn’t understand each other. The officers just kept pointing to the right. We followed their direction. We passed by Seoul City Hall and Daehanmun, the main entrance of Deoksugung Palace.

After a couple of minutes, we found ourselves in a hilly part of the city, all the while looking for a public restroom because my bladder was about to burst any minute. It was torture because I was thirsty from all the walking, and I wanted to drink water. But that would make the situation worse. It was almost midnight, so the air was colder than what we had been used to up until that point. Also, I was wearing a skirt so if the wind blew, the cold air would reach my nether regions. I remember screaming, “I need to pee so bad!” every so often. Miraculously, we eventually reached Namdaemun. However, all the stores were already closed.

Namdaemun is a little dingy. It has the vibe of Binondo, but much cleaner. And you don’t fear about getting stabbed or killed any minute. But for some reason, all of us enjoyed that failed excursion.

This lovely ahjumma found us–probably pitied us–and told us that there was no night market. She then clung to my arms, and dragged me to her food stall. We had dumplings, kimbap and eomuk guk again. We found a restroom at a closed gas station at the end of the road. I was so afraid that it would be locked. Luckily it wasn’t, and so I proceeded to have one of the best pees I’ve probably ever had.

The next day, Hesed still wasn’t feeling up to touring, and decided to stay in the hotel and eat his fried chickens. We just told him to meet us in Insadong at 7 p.m. for dinner. We didn’t have reliable means of communication, so that’s how we met up. We’d agree on a time and place, and if you weren’t there, we’d leave. We were basically Neanderthals.

The following day, we went to Namsangol Hanok Village which is a traditional Korean village. Again, we didn’t go for guided tours and just looked around. There were games, dancing and other traditional activities you can participate in. Our main goal at Namsangol was to wear a hanbok. We had a blast pretending to be kisaengs (it’s like the Korean version of a geisha), kings, princesses, emperors, slaves, peasants or scholars. We were also lucky enough to watch a traditional Korean wedding. If I’m not mistaken, they hold weddings during the weekends at around noon. We walked further uphill and found this grey circular stone that had congratulatory messages carved on it. The huge rock was a gift from different cities around the world to Seoul for its sixth centennial anniversary. For some reason we felt so comfortable there, and kept saying that that stone attracted positive energy. So we stayed there for a while, laughed and talked about how our trip was going so far. We went our separate ways after: I went with Matt to Dongdaemun and enjoyed a potato corn dog; the rest to Yongsan to buy gadgets.

Matt eating a potato corn dog at Dongdaemun.

The last day is always shopping day. We had different plans so we set off in pairs. I returned to Insadong, and then went to Dongdaemun with Matt. The guys went to Daehangno, Itaewon and Myeongdong. We didn’t plan on it, but we bumped into each other at Doota Mall in Dongdaemun. We checked each others’ shopping hauls and talked about how our day went.

We had our last meal in Korea at a Caffe Bene branch right across our hotel, and reflected on our trip. We had an informal discussion, where we aired our grievances to each other–what dramas and bloopers we won’t tolerate next time, and what attitudes that needed to be changed. Some of us (a.k.a. Matt) got annoyed at the weirdest things, like believing that uttering a specific word will cause bad luck. I for one knew that I need to stop losing my shit whenever I get tired and/or hungry.

We had fond memories of Korea, and we talk about it constantly. I’m definitely going back because I did miss out a lot. I want to go to Hongdae, Itaewon and Myeongdong, too. I want to push the DMZ tour. I want hole-in-the-wall experiences. I miss the weather. I want to shop just for myself this time. And if our original plan for next year doesn’t push through, I’m definitely going to Korea as Plan B.

Read the first part of our Seoul trip.

Annyeong! Let’s all go to Korea!

My friends and I occasionally talk about the places we want to visit. Japan is a dream. Most of us agree that a Europe tour would be amazing. Backpacking in Cambodia, Laos and Vietnam is another option. We wanted to go somewhere we haven’t been to—preferably somewhere with a different climate, and one that doesn’t require a visa or impose stiff requirements. In early 2012, we decided to go to Seoul, South Korea. We agreed on the dates (October 24-30, autumn season) and waited for a seat sale.

One early morning in March, I read a text message from a friend saying that Cebu Pacific was offering ₱1 flights to all international destinations. So I grabbed my laptop and checked if the discounted airfare applied to our chosen dates. And while the return flight wasn’t on sale, I still decided to book seats. Our round trip ticket to Korea cost around PHP6000 which wasn’t so bad. But we didn’t celebrate fully because we still had to secure our visas.

Getting a Korean visa is easy as long as you submit all the requirements. There’s no need to set an appointment and no interviews either. And for Filipinos, visa application is free if you don’t intend to stay for more than two months. You can submit your application at the Korean Embassy from 9-11 am. They’ll ask you to come back after a week. And if there are no issues with your requirements, you’ll get your visa on that day too. I actually had to go back twice because they asked me to submit supporting documents. I was so stressed! But everything worked out.

We were psyched(!!!) when we saw the visa stamped on our passports. We were finally going to Korea for sure. We even intended to have a Korean appreciation/orientation day where we’ll watch Oldboy and talk about Korean culture and all that shit. But it didn’t happen because people got busy before the trip and we couldn’t match our schedules. So a few of us just noted the places we wanted to visit and made a very loose itinerary. For those concerned about budget, we allotted PHP40,000 for our seven-day trip. It was definitely more than enough. I spent PHP30,000 on food, accommodation, transportation, and all the entrance tickets and still had 10,000 left for shopping. First thing you need to do when you arrive in Korea is to get a transportation card at the airport. I suggest T-money because it has the least limitations and you can use it in convenience stores too.

Stepping out of the airport that night was the best (cold) feeling ever. There was a shuttle from Incheon International Airport to our hotel. We thought at first that the fare from the airport to Seongbuk was KRW1000 (PHP40) which was absolutely cheap because the airport was around 40km away from our hotel. We realized later on that the KRW1000 was the amount left in our T-money and that the fare was actually KRW14000. We stayed at Holiday Inn Seongbuk at a highly discounted price. (Thanks, Matt!) Still giddy, we walked around the neighborhood. We ate at Lotteria which is their version of McDonald’s/KFC combined. We saw a convenience store still open and I bought banana milk because of course.

On our second day, which was the official start of our tour, we had a problem with communication. I brought two phones, one is a Globe prepaid line and the other one was a Smart postpaid line. I had to request roaming services for my Globe prepaid. The Globe subscribers said that their lines were set to auto-roaming, but none of them could get a signal. Due to delayed visa application, one of my friends, Daivey, had to stay in a hostel in downtown Seoul. Before we went our own ways the night before, we agreed to meet at the Korea University train station at around 9am. That morning, Daivey wasn’t there. I texted her but she didn’t reply. Apparently, there was a 30 to 45-minute delay in receiving the messages. We learned that the easiest way around this is to send a text message to someone in the Philippines and have that person forward the message to Daivey. We eventually found each other at Lotte World.

Lotte World was fun. The two rides that made my day were the Gyro Drop and the Bungee Drop. Riding the Gyro Drop was a personal success. I was about to chicken out but my friends pushed me to do it and I’m so happy they did. Some of them rode the Gyro Swing too but I’ve had my fill of adventure that day so I begged off. Whatever you do, DO NOT RIDE THE SWING TREE. It’s like Enchanted Kingdom’s Flying Fiesta but THE WORST. We ended our day eating some amaze grilled chicken skewers (dakkochi) and sipping on fish cake soup (eomuk guk) from a paper cup in the streets of Apgujeong. It was so fucking good in that cold night.

The next day we went to Gyeongbokgung Palace. Our schedule was more synchronized this time with Daivey going to our hotel and all of us leaving together. Things were going great until one of us (Hesed) got left behind when we had to transfer lines at Dongdaemun station. Hesed’s one of those people who just goes with the flow. His mindset is, “I’ll just follow you wherever.”  So we were running down the stairs to catch the train and he was just behind us. The doors closed. We felt exhilarated in our little adventure and then someone asked, “Is everyone here?” And then we saw Hesed waving from the platform. We were worried because he had no idea where we were going AND we had to transfer again to a different line after two stations. Ruther and Isaac went back to claim Hesed at Jongno o-ga station which was the next station from Dongdaemun.

That’s Hesed on the left. And that’s me with the guys who found his lost soul.

We all made it to Gyeongbokgung. Our original plan was to visit at least two palaces but Gyeongbokgung was so vast and picturesque that we stayed there for the entire day.We walked, talked, took lots of photos, and basked in the fact we’re in this beautiful place in this perfect weather. We never participate in guided tours. We just made our own stories about Gyeongbokgung. Sometimes we’ll hear something interesting from the tour guides and we’ll relay it to the group. So we really didn’t learn much about the history of Gyeongbokgung. But that’s what Google and Wikipedia is for, guys.

We had grilled pig intestines for dinner. They were so good. After dinner, we went to N Seoul Tower. We had an inkling that Korea is a place for lovers because of all the couples we saw at Lotte World wearing matching shirts. But N Seoul Tower takes it to a higher level, literally and figuratively. There were dried grass formed to make a heart shape, seats made for two, trees made of padlocks symbolizing a wish or promise to your sweetheart, and tiles with love messages. As the night wore on, the number of couples canoodling increased. And I guess PDA is encouraged in N Seoul Tower because we saw benches in between the trees with little to no lighting. Have at it, lovers.

Everyone was tired from walking all day. We knew we had to walk 5 to 7 minutes more from the train station to our hotel so someone suggested that we take a bus instead. They said they saw some buses stopping near Holiday Inn. I wanted to just walk because we weren’t sure of the bus routes. But some of the guys wanted to push it and I was too tired to argue. Lo and behold, we rode the wrong bus. Or maybe it was the right bus but going the opposite direction. The driver then asked us to alight, trying his best to explain why in his limited English. All we understood was that we had to get out of the bus. Luckily, he let us off a bus station near a university. I was in no mood to ask for directions so I just sulked. We were able to ride a bus that dropped us to a different train station so we still ended up walking.

Read the next part of our trip to Seoul.

Yeah, Bitch! Breaking Bad!

The latest episode of Breaking Bad ended with tons of gunfire. Walter, Jesse and Hank are still alive but you know someone’s going to die. I’m hoping it’s Gomez but only because I don’t want it to be Hank or Jesse. I know all you Team Heisenberg feel for Walter especially when we remember him in his tighty whities in Season 1. And I appreciate that he’s sort of a self-made man. He only relied on his evil science knowledge to build himself a meth empire. But come on now. All bad things must come to an end and Walter has become the literal worst.

That is one of the amazing things about Breaking Bad. The characters are so well-written and well-played that you could empathize with them as humans. Hank embodies what a three-dimensional character is. He started as Walter’s douche-y brother-in-law who got his mind fucked up after that Tortuga incident. I believe his relationship with Marie. He just became more real to me as the seasons progressed. Even that klepto nag Marie became endearing. As for Skyler, I always found her annoying because she’s so fucking self-righteous. And I can’t even begin to describe how unbelievable Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul are. I wouldn’t be able to give it justice.

There’s really no question that all the actors in Breaking Bad are just fucking amazing. All of them. Even the dead ones. The question really is how will all these bad things come to an end? Jesse has decided to go head-to-head against Walter. And even with Hank’s help, I’m not sure he will succeed. They’re just making things up as they go along. They don’t even have a Plan B. Many wiser people have died underestimating Heisenberg so this does not really bode well for Team Schrader.

And even if Hank is successful in capturing Walter, what if they go on a jury trial and Walter uses his cancer card? He’s going to manipulate that jury just like how he manipulated Jesse all these seasons. And remember that Walter has that tape blaming everything on Hank? Imagine Hank being his douche-y self again trying to be all defensive and losing his shit. But if we could only let the jury watch Breaking Bad from Season 1 to 5, they would know that Hank is not a bad guy! And if Walter ends up dying, it doesn’t mean the bad things will end because we still have Lydia, Todd’s uncles, and all the small time meth dealers trying to usurp Walter’s throne. Ugh.

I’m so frustrated I want to do this.

Honestly, I don’t know what I want to happen to Walter. I just want him to leave quietly and not endanger Jesse’s life anymore. He’s done far too much damage on this kid. And if we think about it, what makes Walter scary is not that he can make homemade explosives or ricin; he wreaks more havoc when he opens his mouth and fucks with people’s heads. I’m scared for Jesse, Hank, Marie, Skyler and the kids. I’m scared for all us. I’m scared of the void that will be left once Breaking Bad ends.

Images via, via

I’m A Fashion Maven.

I am rocking this orange ensemble like I’m The Queen of Prison.

I know what’s on your mind. Who am I to talk about fashion when I clearly need all the help I can get based on this photo? First off, I firmly believe that I am rocking this orange outfit with matching knee-high socks. It’s inspired (by Michael Jackson) and fashion-forward. You may be wondering right now, “What kind of mother would allow this to happen?” I am with you on this, guys. Contrary to what this picture suggests, my mother took care of me very well. But she couldn’t do anything cause I loved this ensemble. I thought I was fucking fresh. I would even pair this with a denim vest sometimes. You know, for swag.

Things didn’t go much better fashion-wise when I was in high school. I wasn’t comfortable with girly clothes to the point of wearing work shoes to school. My mom once bought these form-fitting blouses in pastel colors and I hated them. She kept on saying that they looked good on me but I couldn’t see it. I only wore jeans with rubber shoes before but it was my mom who forced me to wear them with sneakers and I loved it. See, guys? My mother really looks out for my best interest. In college, I wore pretty much the same thing every day: jeans/non-cute shorts, t-shirts and sneakers.

But once I started working at my current job, I felt like I had to step up my game. It’s not that I started working in the fashion industry but my coworkers are pretty ladies who dressed up and regularly put make-up on. I also started going out with this guy who said that he found ladies who wear pencil skirts and pumps sexy. I know we should be dressing up for our own enjoyment and not for anyone else but knowing that someone will appreciate how good you look is a great motivation.

In the short span of time that I’ve been into fashion, make-up and all those girly things, here are some of the things I’ve learned about dressing up:

1. Just because it looks good in picture, doesn’t mean it’s going to look good on you.

This is a hard lesson, you guys. Some skirt or collared top is in fashion, everyone is wearing it and you want to fit in. So you try it on but it doesn’t look good on you. It’s okay. Let it go and move on. You’re not doing yourself any favor by forcing it. I’m sure there are other trends you can rock.

2. Don’t wear it if it doesn’t make you feel confident.

Sometimes your outfit is so well put together and your friends swear they find you super cute in it, but then you don’t feel cute at all. It’s okay to say no to friends. (True friends would understand anyway.) If you don’t feel comfortable and confident in what you’re wearing, it’s going to show. And what is the point of wearing something that doesn’t make you happy anyway?

3. Beautiful things come at a price.

An outfit with a good fit, fabric and tailoring is an investment. It’s either you accept that or go back to your ukay-ukays and keep looking like a basic bitch. I know some people swear they found great things at bazaars but I just don’t have the patience. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, what you’ll find ain’t going to look good. That’s wasted time you can’t get back. It’s too exhausting and at best what you’ll find is something “acceptable”. I can’t. I’m sorry.

4. Buy versatile clothes.

Invest in something that can work both as casual and formal wear. Here’s how you rationalize your purchase: “This dress can be worn in the office with pumps. Then I can wear it to a night out if I change to wedges. It’s like I’m buying two outfits for the price of one!” Get it, girl.

5. If you want your clothes to last, wash and iron them yourself.

Many clothes have gone to waste because of negligence. A lot of my stuff now should only be washed on a delicate cycle. I put them in laundry nets just to be safe. I even have specific hanger requirements for my clothes. No one will take care of your stuff better than you. Guard your investments.

6. If you’re going to wear high heels, you better know how to walk in them.

Girls trudging in their high heels make me sad. It ruins an outfit. Lean back, sway those hips and channel your inner drag queen.

7. Go for classic pieces.

I would love to buy clothes that are trendy but my inner monologue goes like this: “Will I look stupid wearing this black and white checkered pants a year from now when no one else is wearing it but me?” If the answer is yes, I don’t buy it.

8. Don’t take it too seriously.

Dressing up should be fun. You don’t have to listen to anything I say. Break all the rules. Keep on experimenting like the 92-year-old fashion rock star Iris Apfel. Wear what makes you comfortable and happy. But to those girls who grew up being tomboys, if you feel like a lady wants to come out of that shell, know that it can be done. If the girl in the orange ensemble can do it, then anything is possible.

Let’s get this hetero straight.

I have a theory that homosexuality is an evolutionary mechanism designed to hinder procreation as a direct reaction to overpopulation. An implication of my theory is that I consider homosexuals as advanced beings compared to heterosexuals in that their sexual orientation and inability to reproduce with same-sex partners are their tools to keep humans from extinction by not adding more people to squander the earth’s resources. It is a stupid theory because 1) homosexuals can still opt to procreate with the opposite sex and 2) that homosexuality was prevalent, sometimes even venerated, hundreds of years ago in many ancient societies even before overpopulation became an issue.

Ask any of your gay or lesbian friends why they chose to be gay and you will surely get some major bitch slappin’. Homosexuality is not a choice. “Coming out” should not even be a thing. I mean, do heterosexual men and women “come out?” Do they have to announce to the world, “Hey, I’m a straight man?” Yet we expect our gay friends to clear it up for us if they prefer the same sex. And if it were a choice, why do gulls, black swans and male sheep have homosexual tendencies?  We had two male dogs who were brothers, and they’re incestuous gay dogs! Are we saying these animals have free will now?

So if homosexuality is not a choice and homosexuals can’t extend the line of their “species” through reproduction with each other, why do we still have homosexuals? I read before that scientists are trying to look for a “gay gene” to explain the whole phenomenon of homosexuality. So far, what they’ve found is that it might not be an issue of genetics after all but of epigenetic marks or epi-marks:

‘To be specific, the new theory suggests that homosexuality is caused by epigenetic marks, or “epi-marks,” related to sensitivity to hormones in the womb. These are compounds that sit on DNA and regulate how active, or inactive certain genes are, and also control when during development these genes are most prolific. Gavrilets and his colleagues believe that gene expression may regulate how a fetus responds to testosterone, the all-important male sex hormone. They further argue that epi-marks may help to buffer a female fetus from high levels of testosterone by suppressing receptors that respond to testosterone, for example, (thus ensuring normal fetal development even in the presence of a lot of testosterone) or to buffer a male fetus from low levels of testosterone by upregulating receptors that bind to the hormone (ensuring normal fetal development even in the absence of high levels of testosterone). Normally, these epi-marks are erased after they are activated, but if those marks are passed down to the next generation, the same epi-marks that protected a man in utero may cause oversensitivity to testosterone among his daughters, and the epi-marks that protected a woman in utero may lead to undersensitivity to testosterone among her sons.’

(Source: http://healthland.time.com/2012/12/13/new-insight-into-the-epigenetic-roots-of-homosexuality/#ixzz2acno1Wsq)

‘Thus, if an epi-mark that kept a mother from getting exposed to high testosterone in development gets passed on to her son—the opposite sex—it could desensitize him to testosterone, contributing to his sexual preference for men. Similarly, if a male-specific epi-mark from dad gets passed to a daughter, it could “masculinize” her sexual preference, making her more interested in women.’

(Source: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/12/11/homosexuality-ultimately-result-gene-regulation-researchers-find/#ixzz2acq9aWOg)

To oversimplify things, and for us to marvel at the irony of it, the thing that made someone hetero-straight, if not erased, is the same thing that can make your child a homosexual. And just so we can be clear on the blame game, if your son is gay, it’s the mother’s fault. And if your daughter is a lesbian, it’s the father’s fault.

Conservatives don’t appreciate research on a biological basis for homosexuality, but I can see them using this same research to strengthen their argument that homosexuality is a “disease.” But that would be like saying having dimples, widow’s peak or green eyes are diseases just because they’re an aberration.

Some members of the gay and lesbian community don’t appreciate being subjects of this scientific research. It just makes them feel more different. But for me, knowing why you are the way you are is crucial to your existence. It helps us understand why we act a certain way or do certain things. This research also provides a sound theory that homosexuality is not a choice. And that’s a big deal because I’m sure there are still gay and lesbian kids out there who are being made to believe otherwise. And if I had a gay son or daughter who asks me what homosexuality is and why it occurs, at least I can provide facts and not a half-assed explanation like “because god made you that way.” Let’s be honest here, god isn’t as tolerant or forgiving to gays, no matter what the current Pope says.